In Memoriam: The Page Is More Important Than The Cover

30 Mar

We’ve all heard the saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”.  It is a term that is now so overused and yet many fail to adhere to its meaning.

I, admittedly, was one of those.

When my aunt married my uncle, I couldn’t understand why she had chosen him. I couldn’t fathom the reason behind  her love for him. It just seemed so odd that someone as outspoken, loud and so full of energy, as my aunt was at the time, would fall for a man who was soft spoken and often kept to himself.  I was but a mere child at the time and did not understand the concept of love. I judged him from what I could see on the outside, through my young, inexperienced eyes.

It’s exactly two months now, to this day, that my uncle passed away from a sudden heart attack. He was only in his forties.

I still feel the emptiness and the loss. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, I still can’t believe that he is gone and even more so, I cannot believe that I had judged him as a child for not being as fun and exciting as my aunt.

With age though, comes wisdom.

My uncle might have been a quiet, reclusive man in my eyes, but he was so much more. He meant so much to all those around him. The stories told about him by his many friends and loved ones showed that he was an incredibly generous, kind-hearted, caring man who did so much for others. Most importantly, he made my aunt incredibly happy and was a wonderful father to my two little cousins. Looking back now, I can most definitely see those qualities that I had never seen before. My uncle was a wonderful and good man who touched the lives of many and I miss him.

As children, due to our lack of experience and knowledge, we are more predisposed to judging others by their outwardly appearances but many of us continue to do this well into adulthood.

The only advice that I can give is this:

1. Please don’t.

As hard as it is (and it is almost just human nature to do so), please try not to judge a book by its cover. Read a few pages, get to know the heart of the story before you make a decision whether to dismiss it or not.

2. Don’t leave words unsaid.

If you care for someone, if they mean something to you, always make it a point to show or tell them. Be honest about your feelings. You don’t lose anything by being honest and letting someone know that you care.

Don’t leave it till it’s too late. I guarantee you that you will regret it later.

 

To my uncle, we miss you and you will forever be in our hearts. This one’s for you. Rest in Peace.

 

 

 

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UPDATE: I’m Back

12 Mar

Hello everyone!

First off, I must say that I am terribly sorry for not posting anything for more than a year. It’s not because of anything other than the fact that I was in my final year of my degree and the year was a gruelling one. Again, apologies.

I hope to start posting to this blog again although I may not do so as regularly as I did when I first started this blog. Again this is because of increasing commitments. However, there has been a LOT of changes over the past year and a half and I hope to fill you all in on how those changes have changed my life, my outlook and perspective and my ability to deal with all kinds of people and situations, both good and bad.

Till then,

D.

 

A Question I Often Ask Myself: Is Being Good Really Bad?

4 Oct
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good_girl_wooden_sign_L (Photo credit: CapesTreasures.com)

Many of us are taught from a young age that it’s important to be nice and to treat each other with respect and kindness. We are told that being a good person, who does good things without seeking a reward, is what takes us further in life and that in a round-about way, good things will come. It’s almost similar to the law of attraction theory isn’t it? Where if you believe in the positive and you send out positive vibrations, you will, in turn, receive positive results.

 

I’ve tried so hard to live by this. I try my best to be nice to people, to be a good person and to live a clean, healthy life. I don’t go out of my way to hurt others or do anything that would cause conflict. In fact, I’m the sort of person who idly sits by and tries to placate others to avoid conflict. If someone attacks me verbally, I don’t fight back. You may think this is cowardly but it’s far from it. The way I perceive it, if I fight back, the other person will then become more aggressive and things will just get messy. If I accept it, walk away and ignore it? There’s no mess.

 

Recently however, I’ve started asking myself why. Why am I being a good person? Good people seem to often get tossed aside than those who are a little nasty, bitchy or just plain mean. Good people are the ones being taken advantage of. Those who are nice are according to some, unattractive, which supports the saying of “nice guys finish last”. Innocent people, who have done no intentional wrong in their lives are the ones, most often, being hurt the most. Maybe I’m generalising. There are, after all, 7 billion people in the world. However, the basis of my questioning is due to being surrounded by people who go through the same things I do. Good people who do good just seem to have bad luck. Does karma even exist?

 

One of the things I’ve found really hard to deal with is the harassment and endless questioning I receive when I tell people that I don’t drink. By drink, I mean alcohol. It has nothing to do with religion or anything else and everything to do with the fact that I choose not to drink. The way I see it, I can have as much of a good time being sober, so why start drinking? More and more though, I’m starting to wonder. By trying to live clean, I get passed over. No one wants to party with the girl who doesn’t drink. Who would want to be around someone who can’t join in on the drinking games and fun? Why bother with someone like that? Sometimes it hurts knowing that all the good I’m trying to do gets me nowhere. No one wants to be around the good girl. I can’t understand why. I may try to be a good person but that doesn’t mean I can’t have fun. I’m not a prude. I don’t mind being around people who drink or want to party excessively. So really, what’s so wrong? What has the world come to where people who do bad things, who are corrupt, who lie and cheat get ahead? This is something that baffles me.

 

Remember my friend who was stood up for being “too nice”? She wasn’t alone. On the other side of the world, another friend is currently battling the same problem. Being passed over because she genuinely is a nice person who cares about people.

 

The thing that I suppose is important to remember is that life is what it is. Bad things happen. You sometimes lose. How I get through is by choosing to live in the present and to hope for the best in the future. Someone I admire once said that in order to make it in life, you’ve got to adapt and improvise. Keep being the best you can be. Practice being kind and respectful to others even if it gets you nowhere. You never know where it could eventually get you.

 

A Message From The Creator

1 Oct

A Message From The Creator

1 Oct

Think Before You Judge

29 Sep

19 Sep