Archive | June, 2012

Normal Is Boring

30 Jun

What is ‘normal’? Each and every one of us has a different idea of what constitutes being ‘normal’. Yet, society has determined for us what ‘normal’ means. In trying to fit in and be considered ‘normal’ we often lose ourselves as we change who we really are. We hide our true selves behind the mask of conformity, following the herd as mindless sheep with no sense of self and identity. We become just one of many, blended in to the masses. So in other words, being normal is, essentially, to be like everyone else and that is just plain boring, don’t you think?

Seeing that I work at the movies/cinemas and am surrounded by movie posters, I seem to gain a lot of my inspiration from poster taglines. Yesterday, I came across the tagline, “You don’t become a hero by being normal” on the “ParaNorman” movie poster.  When I thought about it, I realised that being normal and blending in to the crowd often gets you unnoticed. You become just another body that takes up space. You’re nothing special, you’re not different.

Think of Superman who wears his underpants on the outside or Spider-Man who wears skin tight spandex. Super-heroes wear ridiculous costumes that are bold and unique to identify themselves. In doing so, they separate themselves from the masses and guess what? People look up to them. Now in reality we don’t have a Kryptonian flying around donning his red and blue suit or a masked web slinger crawling up skyscrapers. Instead we have the likes of Lady Gaga with her outrageous costumes, Katy Perry with her bright coloured hair and Tom Cruise who jumps up and down other people’s couches. They didn’t get where they are by being normal. They stepped out of the norm and took advantage of being unique. In fact, they thrived on their differences. By departing from society’s standards of what is normal, they became idols.

Now, I’m not saying that being normal is a bad thing. It’s not. It’s just that being normal, being like everyone else, is boring. How are people going to identify you when you’re exactly the same as someone else? Being different however is a little more adventurous and a whole lot more satisfying. By being different and unique, you’re able to dress the way you want, eat whatever you choose, be attracted to whomever your heart desires. There are no barriers and in that sense, you end up being much happier.

So as the tagline said, “You don’t become a hero by being normal”. Being normal is boring. You shouldn’t feel upset by the fact that you’re different from everyone else. You should enjoy it and make the most of it. Enjoy being unique. Whether you’re tall or short, fat or skinny, straight or not, everyone in their own way is special and that should be celebrated. For those who feel that they are dealing with being different alone, fear not, you’re not and never will be alone.

What are your thoughts? Do you agree/disagree that being normal is boring?

29 Jun

There and Back Again

You want to know what I really can’t stand? The fact that I’m never satisfied with myself. My mom told me a funny thing a week ago. She said I need to become friends with myself. And she’s right. I don’t like myself. Partially because I know myself, warts and all, and also because I can’t even measure up to my own standards.

And today, those standards have to do with body image. I always get one of two things: either people telling me I need to fatten up or people telling me they’re so jealous of how skinny I am. Both of these put incredible pressure on a person. Telling me I need to fatten up says to me I look abnormal. That I’m unhealthy. So I eat more, eat healthier. But it never does anything. I don’t fatten up, I just feel stuffed all the time, with a…

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Nerds: They’re Sexy And They Know It

26 Jun

Those of you who read yesterday’s post know that I went to a frat party.

Last night I found myself fitting the profile of a stereotypical nerd, standing in the corner with one of my friends, watching the crowd. Now, some of you may laugh at me for not breaking out of the stereotype but the difference about last night was that I didn’t choose to stand in the corner. In a way, I was forced to. The venue was packed, filled with hundreds of young men and women, and as with any party the music was up far too loud. It was difficult to talk and hear one another and moving around was a mission. At one stage it became so hot that the minute you stepped foot into the dance area, you’d sweat. Just like that.

So yes, I was forced into one corner and yes I watched the crowd as would a typical nerd but I also had a good time. When two other friends arrived, the party got a whole lot more interesting as we danced in our little corner and yelled into each others’ ears in attempt to converse. We were completely oblivious to what others’ thought of us and that was ultimately what was most important. Not to mention that I noticed a ‘jock’ look my way a couple of times, though nothing came of it and it probably didn’t mean anything. In that respect, I feel that the night was a complete success as not only did I enjoy myself but I broke out of my usual habit of avoiding parties like this and somehow managed to exude an air of self-confidence .

What I found to be most interesting though was the choice of costume most of the people chose to wear. It appears that being a nerd is now ‘in’. Almost every guy and girl came as nerds, complete with bright coloured suspenders, huge thick framed glasses and mismatched socks. They too seemed to enjoy themselves, more so than those who came as jocks or cheerleaders. I wasn’t at the party long enough to give a more detailed account but for the three hours that I was there, the nerds appeared to dominate the crowd  and the dance floor with their drunken antics.

All in all, it was a good party and it was nice to see the nerds taking over for a change. Looks like the times are changing. Nerds are sexy and they, as well as everyone else, are starting to realise it.

Nerd and Proud

25 Jun

Tonight is the night of a college frat party and in keeping with the theme, guests are to dress up either as jocks, cheerleaders or nerds.

Normally I would shy away from parties like this because in High School, I had always felt that I could never pull off the cheerleader look and let’s face it, what’s the point of showing up as a nerd? Stereotypically, a nerd would either be stuck in the corner of the room, eyeing the crowd nervously, bopping to the music, waiting for someone, anyone to ask them to dance or they’d become the target of the inevitable party prank. Both scenarios don’t usually end well for the nerd in question. Now, not all nerds would be bound by the stereotype, but I never wanted to take the risk. After all, I wasn’t just a nerd, I was the fat nerd.

Four years since High School, forty pounds lighter and with a hell of a lot more self-esteem, I’m ready to take that risk.  I could go to the party tonight as a cheerleader. I’m pretty sure I have the right attitude for it, amongst other things. But if I did go as a cheerleader tonight, it would only show my need to fit in. I’m a grown woman with a little more self-respect than to fall into the trap of needing to fit in with the cool kids.

So tonight, I’m donning my thick black ‘Clark Kent’ glasses, as I like to call it, my Chuck Taylors and of course a pair of suspenders, ready to show the world that I’m a nerd, I’m proud of it and I’m going to have an amazing time tonight with my girls.

I’ll fill you in on how it goes tomorrow. Who knows? Maybe tonight, as a nerd, I’ll break out of the stereotype. This is my little social experiment. Wish me luck.

Self Doubt

23 Jun

Have you ever had the feeling of inadequacy? It often creeps up on you just moments before you’re about to achieve a particular goal you’ve set or even when you’re putting a plan together of how you’re going to achieve that goal.

That feeling of self doubt and inadequacy invaded my thoughts today. What if I can’t achieve my dreams? What if I’m wasting my time with this blog? What if, what if, what if?

This questioning of my abilities to do something meaningful with my life filled my thoughts until I came across a poster promoting the Katy Perry: Part of Me movie. Normally, I would have walked right past such posters and on rare occasions take a quick glance at them. Today, I found myself captivated by it. Not so much by the design of the poster, the bright colours or by Katy Perry herself but mostly by the tag line at the bottom. “Be yourself and you can be anything”. That was the tag line.

“Be yourself and you can be anything”. That tag line made me realise what I had been doing wrong all day. I was asking myself “what if” and not “why not”. It made me re-evaluate my thoughts and encouraged me to change my attitude. With that, my mood started getting better and I started thinking of all the possibilities, all the things that I could do with my life.

Self doubt is normal. Almost everyone has experienced that moment of weakness when they have felt that they just “can’t”. Yes, sometimes there will be setbacks. But if you wanted something bad enough, wouldn’t you do anything and everything to achieve it? I know I would. There are times when things will get too hard but the important thing is attitude. Changing your attitude and mindset goes a long way to helping you take that step toward achieving something, no matter how small that step is.

That was what I noticed today. By changing the way I thought, my attitude changed and I felt empowered.

On a side note, I also noticed that listening to some upbeat music for about an hour or so also helped rid away some of my negative thoughts.

What empowers you? What do you do when you experience moments of self-doubt?

 

© Dhayana Sena 2012.

Living with the Poison of Self Doubt

23 Jun

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Not sure if it’s the expectations placed on us as children, experiences with failure and embarrassment, an aspect of a guilty conscience or some combination of all three, but I have been plagued by self-doubt my entire life. It is slowly diminishing, coming to crawl, it seeps into my soul slowly now so I can see it no matter what its disguise. Nonetheless, it’s still there. Still gnawing at me like a petulant fly, an annoying little asshole hedging its bets on my disappointment. I sound either schizophrenic or like a sufferer of D.I.D. (formerly Multiple Personality Disorder), but I know I’m not alone in what-ifing so many of my decisions and pursuits. It’s a difficult cycle to break but not impossible, and certainly worth it.

We learn in psychology, and in the game of life, that as children we’re given mental and physical tasks and then our intelligence and…

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Bus Monitor Taunted By School Children

22 Jun

In response to the previous post, here’s the original video of the kids bullying their bus monitor.

There are some things that I just don’t understand. This is one of them. How can anyone be so cruel as to bully someone who has never wronged them?

What are your thoughts?