A Question I Often Ask Myself: Is Being Good Really Bad?

4 Oct

good_girl_wooden_sign_L (Photo credit: CapesTreasures.com)

Many of us are taught from a young age that it’s important to be nice and to treat each other with respect and kindness. We are told that being a good person, who does good things without seeking a reward, is what takes us further in life and that in a round-about way, good things will come. It’s almost similar to the law of attraction theory isn’t it? Where if you believe in the positive and you send out positive vibrations, you will, in turn, receive positive results.


I’ve tried so hard to live by this. I try my best to be nice to people, to be a good person and to live a clean, healthy life. I don’t go out of my way to hurt others or do anything that would cause conflict. In fact, I’m the sort of person who idly sits by and tries to placate others to avoid conflict. If someone attacks me verbally, I don’t fight back. You may think this is cowardly but it’s far from it. The way I perceive it, if I fight back, the other person will then become more aggressive and things will just get messy. If I accept it, walk away and ignore it? There’s no mess.


Recently however, I’ve started asking myself why. Why am I being a good person? Good people seem to often get tossed aside than those who are a little nasty, bitchy or just plain mean. Good people are the ones being taken advantage of. Those who are nice are according to some, unattractive, which supports the saying of “nice guys finish last”. Innocent people, who have done no intentional wrong in their lives are the ones, most often, being hurt the most. Maybe I’m generalising. There are, after all, 7 billion people in the world. However, the basis of my questioning is due to being surrounded by people who go through the same things I do. Good people who do good just seem to have bad luck. Does karma even exist?


One of the things I’ve found really hard to deal with is the harassment and endless questioning I receive when I tell people that I don’t drink. By drink, I mean alcohol. It has nothing to do with religion or anything else and everything to do with the fact that I choose not to drink. The way I see it, I can have as much of a good time being sober, so why start drinking? More and more though, I’m starting to wonder. By trying to live clean, I get passed over. No one wants to party with the girl who doesn’t drink. Who would want to be around someone who can’t join in on the drinking games and fun? Why bother with someone like that? Sometimes it hurts knowing that all the good I’m trying to do gets me nowhere. No one wants to be around the good girl. I can’t understand why. I may try to be a good person but that doesn’t mean I can’t have fun. I’m not a prude. I don’t mind being around people who drink or want to party excessively. So really, what’s so wrong? What has the world come to where people who do bad things, who are corrupt, who lie and cheat get ahead? This is something that baffles me.


Remember my friend who was stood up for being “too nice”? She wasn’t alone. On the other side of the world, another friend is currently battling the same problem. Being passed over because she genuinely is a nice person who cares about people.


The thing that I suppose is important to remember is that life is what it is. Bad things happen. You sometimes lose. How I get through is by choosing to live in the present and to hope for the best in the future. Someone I admire once said that in order to make it in life, you’ve got to adapt and improvise. Keep being the best you can be. Practice being kind and respectful to others even if it gets you nowhere. You never know where it could eventually get you.



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