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In Memoriam: The Page Is More Important Than The Cover

30 Mar

We’ve all heard the saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”.  It is a term that is now so overused and yet many fail to adhere to its meaning.

I, admittedly, was one of those.

When my aunt married my uncle, I couldn’t understand why she had chosen him. I couldn’t fathom the reason behind  her love for him. It just seemed so odd that someone as outspoken, loud and so full of energy, as my aunt was at the time, would fall for a man who was soft spoken and often kept to himself.  I was but a mere child at the time and did not understand the concept of love. I judged him from what I could see on the outside, through my young, inexperienced eyes.

It’s exactly two months now, to this day, that my uncle passed away from a sudden heart attack. He was only in his forties.

I still feel the emptiness and the loss. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, I still can’t believe that he is gone and even more so, I cannot believe that I had judged him as a child for not being as fun and exciting as my aunt.

With age though, comes wisdom.

My uncle might have been a quiet, reclusive man in my eyes, but he was so much more. He meant so much to all those around him. The stories told about him by his many friends and loved ones showed that he was an incredibly generous, kind-hearted, caring man who did so much for others. Most importantly, he made my aunt incredibly happy and was a wonderful father to my two little cousins. Looking back now, I can most definitely see those qualities that I had never seen before. My uncle was a wonderful and good man who touched the lives of many and I miss him.

As children, due to our lack of experience and knowledge, we are more predisposed to judging others by their outwardly appearances but many of us continue to do this well into adulthood.

The only advice that I can give is this:

1. Please don’t.

As hard as it is (and it is almost just human nature to do so), please try not to judge a book by its cover. Read a few pages, get to know the heart of the story before you make a decision whether to dismiss it or not.

2. Don’t leave words unsaid.

If you care for someone, if they mean something to you, always make it a point to show or tell them. Be honest about your feelings. You don’t lose anything by being honest and letting someone know that you care.

Don’t leave it till it’s too late. I guarantee you that you will regret it later.


To my uncle, we miss you and you will forever be in our hearts. This one’s for you. Rest in Peace.





UPDATE: I’m Back

12 Mar

Hello everyone!

First off, I must say that I am terribly sorry for not posting anything for more than a year. It’s not because of anything other than the fact that I was in my final year of my degree and the year was a gruelling one. Again, apologies.

I hope to start posting to this blog again although I may not do so as regularly as I did when I first started this blog. Again this is because of increasing commitments. However, there has been a LOT of changes over the past year and a half and I hope to fill you all in on how those changes have changed my life, my outlook and perspective and my ability to deal with all kinds of people and situations, both good and bad.

Till then,



A Message From The Creator

1 Oct

A Message From The Creator

1 Oct
19 Sep
7 Sep

Whether it’s your own child, or a student of yours, the following is an example of a way of asking a question that can lead to a profoundly positive change in your relationship… and it can be used with all of the most uncomfortable, scary or emotionally charged issues. It’s not soft and it doesn’t lessen your authority, in fact, it magnifies your authority and role models courage… and more importantly, it gets the result you want:

“So, I’m going to ask you a pretty direct question, and it’s not to make you uncomfortable or because I want to tell you what to do or what not to do, I just want to be sure that you fully understand what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it.” 

Obviously, it’s a long lead in to ask a question, and it’s geared more towards adolescents than younger children, but there is a…

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7 Sep