Tag Archives: pain

Anonymous Asked #2

18 Sep

Anonymous asked: I dunno. I’m just so tired of everything. I can’t be bothered trying. It’s too hard. All I want to do is sleep forever and never wake up. That way I never have to deal with all of this anymore. I dunno, I guess I’m just screwed up but I can’t help feeling this way.

This conversation had been going on for a few days and let me tell you, there’s a lot going on in this sweet person’s life. Things that actually hurts me to read. Above is just a snippet of what I received in my inbox today and it definitely needs addressing.

First off, if you are reading this Anonymous, you are not screwed up. Being tired is something everyone faces at some point. Not the ‘I’m tired because I didn’t get enough sleep’ kind of tired but the ‘I’m so sick of trying so hard’ kind of tired. I’m sure we’ve all been at that point, whether we’ve tried so hard to get that promotion at work or to do extremely well at school. For some, maybe it’s pure exhaustion from struggling every single day to eat healthier and exercise when it’s much easier to lay around in front of the TV eating junk food. Everything in life involves hard work and yes, at some point, some of us may just hit breaking point where we think “screw it, I just want this to end”. The reality though, is that people move on. They realise they’re exhausted and go about changing their approach. Maybe it involves taking a few days off and tending to their own needs or perhaps looking at things from a different perspective. It’s okay to feel ‘tired’. It’s okay to want the pain to end. The important thing to remember is to never give up! Someone once told me that pain is a sign that we are alive. It’s how we overcome the adversity that makes us who we are.

A lot of people don’t realise that suicide does not mean the person is wanting to end their life. No, it’s not about ending life. It’s about ending the pain. When I read that you wanted to never wake up, my first thought was that you must be in so much pain that you are willing to do something so drastic. That’s what it is in the end isn’t it? Suicide is about ending the pain but it is never an option. I know that it may seem like an easy way out, to stop the hurt you’re feeling but it’s also permanent. Once you take your own life, there’s no going back. You’ll never know if something fantastic was right around the corner, an opportunity waiting to happen. You’ll never know that your pain was actually only temporary and would go away in time. Why do something so permanent to fix a temporary problem?

Life is tough and bad things do happen. Some of the things that are happening in the world today are despicable but there’s also so much good in the world too. Pain does go away, eventually. It may not be an easy process and it will take a long time, but the scars and wounds will heal. The thing to remember is that everything you’re going through now will only make you stronger but you need to keep fighting.

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Seeking Help Is Not Easy

5 Jul
English: Bullying on IRFE in March 5, 2007, th...

English: Bullying on IRFE in March 5, 2007, the first class day. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Most anti-bullying websites and other resources often state that if you’re being bullied, the first thing you need to do is talk to someone about it and get help. Having been bullied in the past, I know that this is easier said than done. Often we don’t even realise we are being bullied till much later and for some, the thought of talking to someone is daunting.

Bullying comes in so many forms that it is difficult to pick out what is bullying and what is simply just harmless teasing. Are you just being too sensitive? Is this happening to others or are you the only target? At what point does teasing become taunting? These may often be questions that come to mind that prevent someone from seeking help as for some, reporting something as bullying when it actually is not could have a negative effect and could cause feelings of foolishness. Similarly, we learned from a young age that telling on others could lead us into trouble. That, in it self, may make the idea of talking to someone hard.

Depending on the kind of bullying you’re experiencing, not many ‘adults’ or those in authority will take allegations of bullying seriously if they do not perceive those actions as ‘bullying’. On the other hand, some may fear portraying themselves as being weak by asking for help.

There are various circumstances that often prevent victims from seeking help and others should understand that. It isn’t easy to open up about your feelings, yet alone when you’re being hurt by someone else. It could just be pride or it could be fear of what could result from ‘telling’. It could really be anything and unless you’ve been through it, it is not something anyone can really understand and make statements about.

That being said, seeking help sooner rather than later is always the best thing to do when the option is available. Even if it means talking to a friend or seeking help from an online support forum. Talking about it or expressing your feelings through some sort of outlet beats bottling it up, as often resentment and pain keeps growing over time until such point that we just explode.

So, if you’re finding it difficult to cope with something, my suggestion is to pick up a new hobby that acts as an outlet for all your rage, pain and anything else that you feel. Often, you’d be amazed by how much you can achieve by it. You could be the next big star if writing and making music or drama/ acting is your outlet. By turning all your anger and pain into passion, it could lead to something good. At the very least, you will feel like a load has been lifted and perhaps feel better about yourself.

Here’s a poll for you to cast your votes.

A Different Kind Of Cruelty

4 Jul

I didn’t get quite as many suggestions for topics as I hoped so here’s a post based on something that happened to someone I know.

*Please note that this was written almost as a one sided account, based on the feelings related to me, in order to stir up some healthy debate.

 

Cruelty. It takes on many forms. It is inflicted upon animals and human alike yet what is televised and reported in the news are only those that are of a ‘serious nature’. Is everyday cruelty not serious enough? The cruelty of being led on only to be rejected? The cruelty of someone dangling an object of your desire within an arm’s reach yet never being able to touch it? Doesn’t that count as serious? Maybe not.

To some however, that rejection stings. The hope of achieving something only for it to be snatched away. In some way, that’s just life and a lot of us are forced to deal with it but other times, it is just plain mean and nasty.

Take this girl I know for example, let’s call her Sarah. She had met a man at a bar and had been texting as well as e-mailing back and forth with him for about two weeks. He seemed decent enough and she was willing to take a chance on him after he had asked her out for coffee. She wasn’t exactly excited or thrilled beyond belief that she had a date but neither was she unhappy at the prospect.

Twenty-four hours after the invitation to coffee was sent, Sarah frantically prepared for her date. Just to be sure, she sent the man a message to confirm their meeting point.  This was the reply she received:

“I’m sorry but you’re too nice for me. I’m really sorry but I’m just not ready for all this. I have a lot of stuff to deal with and you shouldn’t have to be put through that.”

Now, Sarah, who wasn’t at all desperate or excited for the date, started to tear up. The man she had been conversing with had played her for a fool. He had given her the hope of possibly meeting a nice genuine guy and did a complete 180 on her. Doesn’t that sound cruel? What could have possibly happened to have suddenly changed his mind about Sarah in twenty-four hours? There are two possibilities:

1) He was a coward who couldn’t man up and be honest enough to tell Sarah that he was not interested; or

2) He had found someone else in the meantime, possibly during a day time date before his scheduled coffee date with Sarah that evening, and could not be bothered telling the truth, quite possibly to protect Sarah from being hurt.

Well, she got hurt anyway.

Both options clearly show the deceptive and game playing mind set of this young man. Could he have not been honest with her and mentioned that he had met someone? Couldn’t he have sent her a message earlier in the day to let her know beforehand? That, I believe is cruel behaviour that should never be inflicted upon any person. Why? Because Sarah spent that night questioning herself. Was she really too nice? What did that mean? Does the fact that she’s a decent human being mean that she will never find love? Because she’s too nice? Will she be alone for the rest of her life? Is she ugly? Was it her? That is exactly the kind of questioning that leads to heartache and pain, because that is when we start to question if we’re good enough. Our self esteem goes out the window and self doubt kicks in, which is replaced most often by self-hate. The mind games and deceptive conduct of human beings occur in such small ways that often it is too isolated to acknowledge. Unfortunately, it does happen and is by far the worst form of cruelty, in my opinion, because self hate is often the last straw before someone completely loses themselves.

What do you think? Would you approve of that man’s behaviour? Was it acceptable? Would you, as women, doubt yourself after receiving that kind of message and finally, would you accept it?